When you're not up for Happy Hour

Today I’m turning serious guys. I’ve been wanting to write about this topic for a really long time, as it really gets on my nerves, but I haven’t had the motivation to tackle such an infuriating topic in the written form until today. And then last week I got a push to write it now more than ever after I saw a Facebook post from a colleague about it. So today I’ve come to the library, hoping for some peace and quiet and a nice corner nook of a desk to settle myself into to get blogging.

Well, I got to the library, but there are no desks left (maybe because my local only has three…what the hell?) so I’m sitting on the floor because that is also the only place there’s a power point as I forgot to charge my laptop before I left home, and let’s face it, I’m going to write much more than 17% battery will allow.

So anyway, today’s topic is alcohol. Or rather, people who drink it and are douche bags when doing so. I didn’t used to dislike these douche bags as much a few years ago. Maybe there are more drunken douche bags now than there was then, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because for the last few years I have worked in what I am positive is one of THE most alcohol drenched industries one could possibly ever work in.

Now, I do drink. I do. I don’t like beer or wine, or most types of cider, but I do drink. Give me a mixed drink or a cocktail or some strawberry lime Rekorderlig and I am a happy camper. But I don’t enjoy going to pubs and clubs every Saturday night and getting off chops so completely that you spend the whole of Sunday on the couch nursing a Maccas cheeseburger. I cannot tell you how many snapchats I get on Sundays that depict exactly this, usually accompanied by the caption ‘never drinking again’. Yet the very next Sunday up appears an identical snapchat from the exact same person.

Now I know this makes me sound like a party pooper who’s no fun at all, but I truly don’t care. And I do think I am still a fun person. Maybe I sound like one of those ads that used to appear in Dolly when you were a teenager that was all ‘you can have fun without alcohol or drugs’. But honestly, I don’t find it cool at all – nor do I find anything associated with it cool (like war wounds from when you fell drunkenly into a gutter on your stumble home, the fact you lost your licence because you were caught drink driving). I do understand that crazy nights with a few drinks can create some of your most amazing memories and times with your closest friends – nights you’ll never forget. And I am all for that. But why do people take it so much further than that? And scarily enough, why do they do it multiple times a week?

Then last week I came across a Facebook post from someone I know who linked an article about giving up alcohol and then proceeded to make a comment alongside it about how much he loved drinking alcohol, how confident it made him, the friends he’s gained because of it and the social opportunities it provides. He then went on to say that despite this though, he didn’t like the cost, the hangovers and the way he feels drawn to alcohol in order to fit in. He also admitted, after several of his friends commented on his post that they had given up alcohol permanently or at some point in their lives for a while, that he had not gone without alcohol for more than a month since he was 13 years old.

I nearly fell off my bed. I know I was a late comer to the party having only had my first taste of alcohol when I was sixteen, but not having gone without it for just a couple of weeks since he was thirteen (the age he first tried alcohol does not bother me…it’s very normal actually I think) up until this day, well, I found that so, so sad. It was amazing that he felt this had to be an accompaniment to every single weekend or Friday night.

Of course he is not the only one, and I am not trying to single him out. How many articles do you read in the media that are about losing weight or feeling healthier and the first thing they recommend you do is cut down on, or cut out completely, any alcohol? They write it like it’s so common for everyone to drink every week. And they write it because it’s absolutely true. I’m not judging you if you have a glass of wine or a beer after work each night. The point of this entry is that I’m just judging you if you are one of those people who do your drinking excessively. Why do you feel the need to do this? Why do you need to go so far? Why do you have to write yourself off every Saturday night which in turn renders you practically vegetative all day Sunday? Do you think such excess makes you cool? Do you also think this on the Sunday when you’re feeling like dog shit? Or do you regret it? And if you regret it, why do you then go and do it again next weekend? If you don’t regret it…why don’t you?

I know a lot of people drink for social acceptance, like my buddy mentioned above, and I understand that, and even sympathise a tiny bit. Many workplaces and industries have a culture where drinking is just the norm. You are seen as abnormal if you don’t drink. I know this, because I work in such an industry. It’s alcohol DRENCHED, and because I am not a huge drinker, I often am excluded from or forgotten about during many crew get togethers. Being a flight attendant who doesn’t drink is like someone working at Vogue who doesn’t like fashion, or an AFL footballer who doesn’t take drugs (yep, I went there). You’re seen as weird, and like you aren’t putting in the effort to get to know your work mates, for the single reason you don’t want to go out boozing with them all night (and EVERY trip) and spend all your layover allowance on drinks. So I can absolutely understand ol’ buddy above when he says drinking brings him social acceptance. Certainly it’s easier to make friends when you’re a bit tipsy. Heck, you even make friends with the girl standing next to you in the toilet queue when you’re drunk. It can be fun, looking through those wine goggles. Everything seems better, and you do have heaps of fun. I’m not denying that. I’ve been there, done that myself. I just never take it to the point of excess like so many people around me seem to do.

Why does every social occasion need to be centred around alcohol? Why is it more common to hear someone say ‘let’s go out for a drink’ than ‘let’s go out for icecream/coffee/fish and chips’? I know I know, it’s so normal to drink. So, so normal. But if someone chooses not to go it as aggressively as you, if they don’t like shots, or they don’t like the taste of wine and they choose not to drink the way you do, why do you look at them oddly? Why do you exclude them? If alcohol brings you social acceptance, and you feel people only like you because you drink, how do you think the people who don’t drink feel? Can you imagine how unaccepted and left out they feel? Take a moment to let that sink in, and maybe next time someone says they are not up for going out drinking one weekend and would prefer to do something else – a movie, a road trip, a day on the beach – you will stop and think for a minute and think hey, yeah, I’ll give that a go. At least you won’t be hungover the next day, and you’ll still have money in your wallet.

It’s a dangerous thing for some workplaces to have such a culture, or even just your friendship circle to have such a culture, I think. If you take away the alcohol, who are these people? Not who you thought they were. Perhaps not even people you’d ever associate with normally. Maybe they’re not fun or exciting when they’re not drunk, but hey, that is who they are underneath – sober – and that is their true personality, so get to know it.

If someone prefers to spend their Saturday night with a copy of Sleepless in Seattle in their DVD player, a packet of chips and a hot Milo as opposed to your pre drinks, bar hopping, a 4am Maccas run and a 5am crash into bed, don’t be thinking they’re not cool enough. Don’t judge them as losers and think they’re uncool just because they don’t want to drink as excessively as you. Chances are they’re so opposed to it (at least in part) because of the huge deal you make of looking down upon them and because you won’t accept that they just don’t want to do things the same way as you sometimes.

If you want to drink go right ahead. I’m not saying you can’t, or shouldn’t or anything like that. I am opposed to drinking to excess, and I am opposed to people whining about how they feel so shocking the next day (hey man, you did it to yourself), and I am opposed to excessive drinking that leads to stupid or criminal acts (but that’s a topic I’m going to write about another time). I also realllllly hate those people who preach their ‘mindful eating’, kale smoothie, yoga loving, chia seed, acai bowl weekday lives and then go and get smashed every weekend, whilst still trying to sell their wholesome clean eating mantra to those around them.

Please, just take a moment to think how it would be if you didn’t drink to excess. If you treated everybody in as friendly a way as you do that girl in the toilet queue at that bar or at that music festival. Because people who don’t drink so excessively just want to be accepted too, and not forced to become some kind of binge drinker just to have someone to hang out with on Saturday nights. I am not saying I am perfect. But I'm also saying I don't need to be forced to drink just to be considered perfect.

Your occasional drinker,

Jorgs