How many wines does it take for one little yogi to roll her car?

Today I’m throwing it back. Throwing it back to last year, when I got into an argument with a celebrity on Instagram. After the backlash – but also just as many positive, supporting comments – about my binge drinking posts on this blog, I feel spurred on to continue to voice my opinion on things I don’t think are right. I’m not the type to just let these things slide by, as I have principles, and this is how I got into the argument in the first place.

Mid last year many of you may have heard of a certain female active wear ‘guru’ who rolled her car in a classy Sydney suburb after drinking a few too many wines one afternoon in North Bondi. Maybe you didn’t hear about it, but if you lived in Sydney, as I did at the time, you definitely would’ve. The media were all over it like a rash. And rightly so.

Anyway, said celebrity rolled her fancy schmancy Range Rover and damaged several other cars. Thankfully, nobody was hurt. Later, due to I am sure, her well known name (and former – heavy weight – married name), her status within Sydney society, plus the ease with which she could afford to pay an excellent mouthpiece known for getting celebrities ‘out’ of situations like this in court, she was let off with barely a slap on the wrist. This was despite previous driving offences, and despite the fact just a couple of courts away in western Sydney, a man was in for the same offence and got a far harsher penalty than Miss Yoga Pants.

Sometime later she posted a picture on her Instagram account which depicted a hand holding a pair of scissors, cutting off the ‘t from the word can’t. Pretty disappointed at the light sentence she had been given, and not willing to sit back and watch herself and many other celebrities get off so easily as if they are more ‘special’ than the rest of us, I could not help but write a comment on her picture that went something along the lines of ‘I can….drink and drive and get away with it.’ (who am I kidding, those were the exact words. I won’t forget how satisfying it felt to write them and hope she would read them and feel a little remorse).

Well watch out. What happened next was much more than I had expected. Many of Miss Yoga Pants hippie dippie yoga loving chia seed inhaling devoted followers commented, making up excuses for their guru and her actions, insisting it was ‘okay that we all make mistakes’ and continuously stating how much they still loved and adored her. Plenty of people jumped on my band wagon also, standing at my back supporting my stance on how seriously she had not taken what she had done.

Miss Yoga Pants herself, known to be media shy, people shy, everything shy (yet she is a former swimsuit model…go figure), even hopped on and began making excuses for herself in reply to my comment. Miss Yoga Pants stated she had only had a few wines that afternoon and had eaten. She stated her previous run ins with unpaid parking fines and never receiving her traffic infringements in the post were all someone else’s fault, and that she hoped I would forgive myself and live with peace and harmony.

Vomit. Get a grip.

Miss Yoga Pants herself is a whisp thin person, whom I can pretty confidently say four wines would knock around pretty solidly. She definitely didn’t eat enough to balance what she drank (but she made sure to remind me she’d followed the ‘government legislation of one drink an hour’ but then went on to admit she hadn’t thought far enough to realise this recommendation varies according to a person’s weight). She insisted it was near on impossible to live in Sydney and never get parking fines (well dang, how did I possibly live there for two years and never get a single one?! I must be soooo lucky!). She insisted old unpaid fines were a result of mail getting stolen from her box for ten years (never heard of a lock love? Or god forbid a secure PO Box that will only cost you $200 a year? Pretty sure you could afford it).

I played on for quite a while. Maybe you, dear readers, haven’t noticed yet, but if you do dumb shit, I’m going to call you out on it. That’s what you deserve if you’re going to do dumb shit. And that’s what I felt needed to be done on this Instagram post. Her and her devoted yogis were insisting it was all right that she could’ve killed someone. That it was all right that she’d been able to get away with next to no punishment, making her believe she could go on and do it again and again, just because the law had made an exception for her because she is ‘famous’ and can afford a really good lawyer.

Well I sure have a problem with that. Who cares to place a bet that she didn’t personally apologise to those whose cars she damaged when she rolled her shiny 4WD? She barely showed up to court, putting on her wounded bambi look for the media pack when she did eventually show up (late), and insisting she had been victimized and hassled for years just because she used to be married to one of Australia’s richest men.

Cry me a river. She had had her licence suspended six times in seven years! All the problems she pumped out into her Instagram comments and to the media were easily resolvable but which she thought she was above because of her celebrity. Blaming her assistants, recommended alcohol intake levels for her weight and height, blaming everything and everyone but herself for her inexcusable actions.

As if I wasn’t going to call her out on that. I am truly sick of seeing football clubs covering up the dumb shit actions of its players, Cronulla’s favourite bogan bikini model continually get her licence suspended yet still driving around like she is someone special, actors to boxers to NFL stars being perpetrators of domestic violence yet still showered in money and fame, all the while their despicable acts behind closed doors going blissfully ignored.

What made Miss Yoga Pants think that she was any more special than anyone else? What made her think it was okay to do what she did? What made her think one tiny lamb chop would counteract a whole afternoon of drinking when she probably weighs barely 50kg? Why was she making excuses for such an inexcusable thing she did?

I really would’ve liked to see what the devoted yogis had to say about their guru had she actually killed someone – a very, very real possibility, and one she is very lucky to have escaped. Would they still have been singing her praises then? I bloody hope not.

Miss Yoga Pants has been in the news a lot this past year, and not just for the Range Rover rolling incident. My little stoush with her garnered a write up on ninemsn and the Daily Mail, of which I was not expecting, but which I was glad for, as I think it highlighted just how much of a dumb shit she’d been, and she deserves to have her wrists slapped so much more than what they have so far been. I wish nothing but negative publicity on someone who’s going to do stupid things like put innocent lives at risk.

You can see readers, why I dislike drinking more and more with every passing day. The examples as to why drinking stupidly just keep getting thrown at me, day after day.

What a shockingly bad decision she made with the fuel of those wines. Of course, you cannot blame the alcohol all the time – many people can drink and be mature and intelligent enough to make the decision not to drive, no matter how drunk they may or may not be. But Miss Yoga Pants made a poor decision, and while we all do indeed make poor decisions from time to time, we all also should own up to them, apologise, rectify the situation as best we can and take proper responsibility for our actions - not blame the rest of the world for our stupid acts. Alcohol is a part of too many road accidents and fatalities.

If you make a dumb shit decision, as I stated above, there will always be someone there to call you out on it. Because you deserve to be called out on it.

I’m sure many think I sound like the fun police here, and maybe that’s what I am. But imagine if it was your car she banged up? Imagine if it was your sister or brother that she hit with her car? Wouldn’t you be calling her out on it then too?

 What were you thinking Miss Yoga Pants?

Seriously, what were you thinking?

Jorgs

Note: for the detectives out there who might go hunting on Instagram for this argument, you won't find it - as Instagram deleted my comments after I was threatened one too many times by the hippie dippies.

When you’re still not up for Happy Hour

So apparently I offended some readers with my last blog entry. I’m not sorry. This is my blog, and it’s about my opinions, and this is where I’m allowed to have them. I only care about offending my family and friends, and so far they have all sided with me on that post, so I needn’t worry that they’re upset by what I wrote.

And it seems that ever since I wrote that post, every day since I have been inundated with more and more reasons to dislike people who drink excessively. The reasons are just being hurled at me constantly, reinforcing everything I wrote as 100% spot on.

For example, last week I witnessed a group of drunken douche bag rugby players hassle a young woman to the point of her being in tears. They were wolf whistling, trying to touch her up and making many a suggestive comments, among other things. They were relentless at it. They were only doing this because they were drinking – I had talked to them previously and all seemed like all right guys before they started getting on the piss. Thankfully their team manager shut them down when it came to his attention that they were being dickheads, but to me it only proved once again that not much good comes from that kind of drinking. It also did not help their cause at all – everyone around them just rolled their eyes and whispered ‘typical rugby players’. The stereotype that exists out there that rugby players are hard drinkers, won’t take no for an answer, think they’re untouchable (or that their club will protect them) and think they’re god’s gift was only reinforced time and time again that day. They did not do themselves any favours in the eyes of others. But they didn’t care. Like I said, they think they’re gods. They had no shame, saw nothing wrong with what they did, all because the alcohol they drank and the way they egged each other on as a result, hazed over their good judgement.

I don’t give a toss if you feel I’m judging you for being an excessive drinker. Maybe that’s what you are, and you just keep making excuses for your behaviour and continually talk yourself into thinking it’s ok. What’s more, I don’t care if you feel I’m judging you – because I am – because you are the ones that judge me way worse for only being an occasional drinker. For being someone who doesn’t enjoy drinking to the point of passing out. For being someone who doesn’t think it’s funny to have such a crazy night that you have unexplained bruises the next morning from stumbling round in a drunken stupor. For being someone who doesn’t think it’s cool that your $200 dress got ripped and you label it in a Facebook post as ‘must’ve been a good weekend if your dress gets torn to shreds’. No, I don’t think that’s cool, and yes I am going to judge you.

This kind of drinking is a terrible culture that exists in so many sporting clubs and workplaces and within friendship groups. And I think it needs to change. I know it won’t, but my opinion is that it should. Label me as unfun all you want, but as a commenter pointed out in an article linked – though it didn’t explain his argument very well – drinking is the second biggest killer in Australia. One day hopefully that will hit home.

When you're not up for Happy Hour

Today I’m turning serious guys. I’ve been wanting to write about this topic for a really long time, as it really gets on my nerves, but I haven’t had the motivation to tackle such an infuriating topic in the written form until today. And then last week I got a push to write it now more than ever after I saw a Facebook post from a colleague about it. So today I’ve come to the library, hoping for some peace and quiet and a nice corner nook of a desk to settle myself into to get blogging.

Well, I got to the library, but there are no desks left (maybe because my local only has three…what the hell?) so I’m sitting on the floor because that is also the only place there’s a power point as I forgot to charge my laptop before I left home, and let’s face it, I’m going to write much more than 17% battery will allow.

So anyway, today’s topic is alcohol. Or rather, people who drink it and are douche bags when doing so. I didn’t used to dislike these douche bags as much a few years ago. Maybe there are more drunken douche bags now than there was then, I don’t know. Maybe it’s because for the last few years I have worked in what I am positive is one of THE most alcohol drenched industries one could possibly ever work in.

Now, I do drink. I do. I don’t like beer or wine, or most types of cider, but I do drink. Give me a mixed drink or a cocktail or some strawberry lime Rekorderlig and I am a happy camper. But I don’t enjoy going to pubs and clubs every Saturday night and getting off chops so completely that you spend the whole of Sunday on the couch nursing a Maccas cheeseburger. I cannot tell you how many snapchats I get on Sundays that depict exactly this, usually accompanied by the caption ‘never drinking again’. Yet the very next Sunday up appears an identical snapchat from the exact same person.

Now I know this makes me sound like a party pooper who’s no fun at all, but I truly don’t care. And I do think I am still a fun person. Maybe I sound like one of those ads that used to appear in Dolly when you were a teenager that was all ‘you can have fun without alcohol or drugs’. But honestly, I don’t find it cool at all – nor do I find anything associated with it cool (like war wounds from when you fell drunkenly into a gutter on your stumble home, the fact you lost your licence because you were caught drink driving). I do understand that crazy nights with a few drinks can create some of your most amazing memories and times with your closest friends – nights you’ll never forget. And I am all for that. But why do people take it so much further than that? And scarily enough, why do they do it multiple times a week?

Then last week I came across a Facebook post from someone I know who linked an article about giving up alcohol and then proceeded to make a comment alongside it about how much he loved drinking alcohol, how confident it made him, the friends he’s gained because of it and the social opportunities it provides. He then went on to say that despite this though, he didn’t like the cost, the hangovers and the way he feels drawn to alcohol in order to fit in. He also admitted, after several of his friends commented on his post that they had given up alcohol permanently or at some point in their lives for a while, that he had not gone without alcohol for more than a month since he was 13 years old.

I nearly fell off my bed. I know I was a late comer to the party having only had my first taste of alcohol when I was sixteen, but not having gone without it for just a couple of weeks since he was thirteen (the age he first tried alcohol does not bother me…it’s very normal actually I think) up until this day, well, I found that so, so sad. It was amazing that he felt this had to be an accompaniment to every single weekend or Friday night.

Of course he is not the only one, and I am not trying to single him out. How many articles do you read in the media that are about losing weight or feeling healthier and the first thing they recommend you do is cut down on, or cut out completely, any alcohol? They write it like it’s so common for everyone to drink every week. And they write it because it’s absolutely true. I’m not judging you if you have a glass of wine or a beer after work each night. The point of this entry is that I’m just judging you if you are one of those people who do your drinking excessively. Why do you feel the need to do this? Why do you need to go so far? Why do you have to write yourself off every Saturday night which in turn renders you practically vegetative all day Sunday? Do you think such excess makes you cool? Do you also think this on the Sunday when you’re feeling like dog shit? Or do you regret it? And if you regret it, why do you then go and do it again next weekend? If you don’t regret it…why don’t you?

I know a lot of people drink for social acceptance, like my buddy mentioned above, and I understand that, and even sympathise a tiny bit. Many workplaces and industries have a culture where drinking is just the norm. You are seen as abnormal if you don’t drink. I know this, because I work in such an industry. It’s alcohol DRENCHED, and because I am not a huge drinker, I often am excluded from or forgotten about during many crew get togethers. Being a flight attendant who doesn’t drink is like someone working at Vogue who doesn’t like fashion, or an AFL footballer who doesn’t take drugs (yep, I went there). You’re seen as weird, and like you aren’t putting in the effort to get to know your work mates, for the single reason you don’t want to go out boozing with them all night (and EVERY trip) and spend all your layover allowance on drinks. So I can absolutely understand ol’ buddy above when he says drinking brings him social acceptance. Certainly it’s easier to make friends when you’re a bit tipsy. Heck, you even make friends with the girl standing next to you in the toilet queue when you’re drunk. It can be fun, looking through those wine goggles. Everything seems better, and you do have heaps of fun. I’m not denying that. I’ve been there, done that myself. I just never take it to the point of excess like so many people around me seem to do.

Why does every social occasion need to be centred around alcohol? Why is it more common to hear someone say ‘let’s go out for a drink’ than ‘let’s go out for icecream/coffee/fish and chips’? I know I know, it’s so normal to drink. So, so normal. But if someone chooses not to go it as aggressively as you, if they don’t like shots, or they don’t like the taste of wine and they choose not to drink the way you do, why do you look at them oddly? Why do you exclude them? If alcohol brings you social acceptance, and you feel people only like you because you drink, how do you think the people who don’t drink feel? Can you imagine how unaccepted and left out they feel? Take a moment to let that sink in, and maybe next time someone says they are not up for going out drinking one weekend and would prefer to do something else – a movie, a road trip, a day on the beach – you will stop and think for a minute and think hey, yeah, I’ll give that a go. At least you won’t be hungover the next day, and you’ll still have money in your wallet.

It’s a dangerous thing for some workplaces to have such a culture, or even just your friendship circle to have such a culture, I think. If you take away the alcohol, who are these people? Not who you thought they were. Perhaps not even people you’d ever associate with normally. Maybe they’re not fun or exciting when they’re not drunk, but hey, that is who they are underneath – sober – and that is their true personality, so get to know it.

If someone prefers to spend their Saturday night with a copy of Sleepless in Seattle in their DVD player, a packet of chips and a hot Milo as opposed to your pre drinks, bar hopping, a 4am Maccas run and a 5am crash into bed, don’t be thinking they’re not cool enough. Don’t judge them as losers and think they’re uncool just because they don’t want to drink as excessively as you. Chances are they’re so opposed to it (at least in part) because of the huge deal you make of looking down upon them and because you won’t accept that they just don’t want to do things the same way as you sometimes.

If you want to drink go right ahead. I’m not saying you can’t, or shouldn’t or anything like that. I am opposed to drinking to excess, and I am opposed to people whining about how they feel so shocking the next day (hey man, you did it to yourself), and I am opposed to excessive drinking that leads to stupid or criminal acts (but that’s a topic I’m going to write about another time). I also realllllly hate those people who preach their ‘mindful eating’, kale smoothie, yoga loving, chia seed, acai bowl weekday lives and then go and get smashed every weekend, whilst still trying to sell their wholesome clean eating mantra to those around them.

Please, just take a moment to think how it would be if you didn’t drink to excess. If you treated everybody in as friendly a way as you do that girl in the toilet queue at that bar or at that music festival. Because people who don’t drink so excessively just want to be accepted too, and not forced to become some kind of binge drinker just to have someone to hang out with on Saturday nights. I am not saying I am perfect. But I'm also saying I don't need to be forced to drink just to be considered perfect.

Your occasional drinker,

Jorgs