Wednesday, January 21, 2015

The Top Ten Most Common Questions Flight Attendants Get Asked


Well hellllloooo my dear readers! Sorry I've been away so long and not blogging for you all. As my favourite honourary flight attendant, Pam Ann would say, I've been busy busy busy sooooo busy! Christmas and New Year was mental with catching up with family and friends, and then I did two trips back to back in the first week of the year. Since then I have been to Dallas twice already, had a diversion and an extra night away from home and frankly I am still catching my breath! Catching my breath so much so in fact that I went over my legally allowed amount of hours I can work in a roster period and I was able to drop this week's trip to Dubai, so suddenly I have off nine glorious days! Can't tell you how much I need them - I am pooped. And I am so glad I have this time off to enjoy the beautiful Perth summer, watch endless hours of the Australian Open and do a little bit o' blogging!

So tonight on Facey I came across this amazing video that an awesome blogger/Facebook figure called Confessions of a Trolley Dolly posted (check them out at www.confessionsofatrolleydolly.com) and I simply MUST share it with you all as it just explains my own life as a long haul trolley dolly so bloody well, and also, well, it's just really really funny! So here it is...


Video credit: ThatYoungGal

Watching this video totally inspired me to blog about the questions I most commonly get asked during my work day - questions I am asked every single trip, usually by multiple passengers. A few of my readers have also asked me to write more flight attendant related posts, so voila! Here are the top ten questions I get asked...
“So, do you do this route often?”

My roster is like a lottery. I have very little control over it. I could come to this city twice in a week or not be here for another four months.

“Is there wifi on this plane?”

No.

This is almost always followed by a blank look and a “But *insert competitor airline’s name here* does!”

Maybe you should’ve flown them then.

“So where do they put you up?”

Stranger danger. I’m not going to tell you, and if I do, I will be very, very vague, no matter how nice you seem. Too many flight attendants have been stalked by creepy passengers.

“Do you just fly international or do you do domestic routes as well?”

This one is extremely common. Pretty sure when I am away for five days out of seven in the week doing this trip we both find ourselves on right now, I wouldn’t have any time to also work any domestic routes as well. A girl’s gotta have some RDO’s!

“Do you get free flights?”

People automatically assume we get free flights. When you work at a bank do they give you free money? No. We get discounted flights. Say it with me: DISCOUNTED. NOT FREE. There is a big difference.

“Do you guys get to sleep on here?”

Yes. There are crew bunks on almost all large aircrafts – or at least crew seats where a curtain can be drawn across and the crew can hide from all you whinging passengers.

“How long do you get to stay here? A week?”

Please. The golden era of flying is over. No one gets a week anymore. We get anywhere between 24 and 72 hours in a layover city. Usually closer to the 24 hours end. As I like to say, just enough time to eat, sleep and shop.

“How do you open this toilet door?”

You push where it says push. No, the cigarette ashtray doesn’t open the door. JUST READ WHAT IT SAYS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE.

(Honestly, sometimes I think even if we wrote these things in neon flashing lights people still wouldn’t read them).

“Will I make my connection?”

I am not a wizard – I don’t know these things. If we’re super delayed, and you went to school for even just a few years, but were still dumb enough to book your connecting flight to be less than 2 hours later than this one, then you should be able to work out that no, you won’t make your connecting flight. But then you were dumb enough to leave almost no time between your two flights, so you won’t want to work it out and you’ll just ask every crew member you see the same question. Never fear though. We do not just dump you at the airport and leave you there forever if you miss your connection. We will put you on the next available flight. And yes, we do understand that flying is stressful, whether you are a seasoned flyer or a first or second timer. Making your connection is stressful. You don’t know where you’re going. You're in a hurry. You have a meeting/tour/funeral/wedding to get to. The weather has been a bitch today and delayed you right from the word go. You’re new to this. You feel out of your depth. We do understand. Still doesn’t mean I can tell you for certain whether you're going to make your connecting flight or not.

And finally the worst question of them all, the one that really grinds my (landing) gears is this…

*On arrival in Los Angeles from Sydney (a fourteen hour flight and sixteen hour total duty for me and my crew)*

“So, do you guys head straight back to Australia now?”

Take a second to look at the crew member you’re asking this to. Notice he or she looks like they’ve been hit by a bus. Their blazer or scarf may be a bit skewiff. They’re probably still wearing their cabin shoes because their feet hurt so much that they can’t bear to put their high heels back on for the walk through the terminal. Her makeup is at least 50% rubbed off her face. He has a five o'clock shadow. Her hair is a bit fly away. The whites of his or her eyes are now a bit pink. He or she has just handed out at least 300 hot meals, twice, tried to stay awake for HOURS in the galley while the rest of you were all sleeping out in the cabin as we flew across the ocean, has probably eaten all his or her meals today standing up and has been awake and in uncomfortable panty hose or a neck tie for almost an entire 24 hours now.

After you’ve looked at them and noticed all these things for surprisingly the first time, think now if in your job you would ever work for 32 hours straight.

No. We do not ‘turn around and go back now’. We go to a hotel and have a rest you silly people!

That's all for today diary readers! I will be back with more posts soon, I promise.

In the meantime I don't think I've ever told you all that you can follow me on Twitter @Brindabella24 and on Instagram @brindabella24 !

Jorgs

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